is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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