I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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