Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm so fucking centered right now
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
