The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize