and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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