hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
two words: eviction party
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
