Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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