I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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