So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
