look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
