i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
