Porn is love you can see.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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