Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You don't make any sense
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