If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
