the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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