belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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