All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize