The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
