she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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