Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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