Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
