You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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