He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
