Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
