I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
