So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize