last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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