What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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