Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
