My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Found the puke drawer
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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