What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
