Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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