i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
