I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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