I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
