You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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