I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Holy sore nipples Batman
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
