We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize