i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
