question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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