I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
