I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize