Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
