and you said cock pushups were impossible
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
