i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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