Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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