i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
