something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
