Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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