Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
