I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
