When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize