I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
