brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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