Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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