So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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