Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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