I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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