Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
